Tuesday

Happy Tuesday!

I think the offering for Sunday is a good idea. Its so important to take it to the people. I think you have some very good ideas People need to know that you care and its not the same talk that they hear all the time. No rhetoric, no red tape, just help, direct and much needed. Go straight to the people. I just pray the people show up to give.

We are installing a ceiling fan in my bedroom. My old ceiling fan went out and we (me, my brother and anna) are trying to figure this out. We have been working on this for the past hour and a half.  Sometimes projects at home take twice as long as you think. Tomorrow we will do some lawn work. There's always something that needs to be done. Repave the driveway. Get some new outside lights. Working on curb appeal at this house. Preparing the apartments for inspection. Renting out the apartments.All of this witin the next three weeks. It can be done. 

Let me get back to work. I just wanted talk to you to let you know I was thinking about you.

Monday

I'm anxious.

I'm worried.

I'm nervous.

I'm excited about the possibilities.

I like that position, I'm excited about the possibilities.

I think I'll stay in that position. Excited about the possibilities.

I have been been asking God is there a point where this gets better?

I know it must be. 

Today was a good day. I got some things done and I will continue this week to try to get my stuff together.As best as I can possibly do that.

I do think about you. I plan for you. I make certain decisions because of you. You are important to me and you are part of my life.

It will be all right. I have to keep telling myself that. After I'm saved and schizo.

Be blessed and be a blessing to someone. You are special.

Sunday's Awesome Sermon

We are children of God.

The stuff of our old nature seems to stick on us. We love God but the truth is we still love the stuff. We really do love God but we have fallen into a love affair of the stuff of the old nature. We all have an "it". We say we want to be new and a new creation, but sometimes we still flirt with our "it". We still flirt with our old stuff. Schizophrenic.

Neighbor I know you want to be new but every now and then you flirt with your "it".

Most of the shows are a triangle of cheating. Most of us are caught up in a love triangle. Our love for self, Our love of God and Our love of "it". We commit spiritual adultery.  Most of us can be candidates for the Jerry Springer show. We have two natures. The d us and the new us.  We keep trying to kill the old us but every morning the old us gets up with you. New mornings and new mercies but the old "it" gets up with you. When the shouting is over and the tears of worship is over when we get home the old you is waiting at the door. I understand when you shout and I understand the old you is waiting at the door to welcome you. When you hear Luther, stuff starts to rise up in you. We have to be very careful not to judge folks. We are all just a step away... I am asking God not to make me quick to judge. We are all just a step away from the pig's pen. We are saved and schizophrenic. In the midst of our schizo behavior, I tell you that we shall be called children of God because that is what we are. Others have called you other names and the truth is sometimes we deserved to be called those names but John says God God calls us his child. God will not quit on us. No matter how much stuff we have, how many times we backslide, God wil never quit on us. God doesn't give up on us. God thank you for never giving up on me. God pours his love on us while we are still messed up, trying to clean the mud and slime that is in us off of us. God lavishes his love on us and calls us his child, even when we are acting like his enemy. Unless you embrace what I have for you as you are, you can never embrace the victory. We don't understand yet why God loves us so much. Sometimes we have a hard time loving ourselves. How can someone like you, love someone like me? With all my stuff? Sometimes we have to go through the things that we do because God is working out the wrinkles. God is trying to make us better, we have to have some heat and try to straighten out the wrinkles. When you feel heat in your life, know that God is just trying to press out your wrinkles. How can you love me with all my wrinkles? How can you love me when I do what I don't want to do and don't do what I do want to do. God pours his love on me. I don't have to understand why God loves me so I just have to accept it. I Just Have to Accept it. That's the key to letting go of the old nature. Completing embracing the sonship and daughtership that God has given us. When we accept that he really does love me then we are able to embrace and surrender to God. We cant fight the "it" by our self. The love of God will start breaking up stuff on the inside. It wil wash stuff day in and day out. The love of God will break up stuff that has been inside of us for years. Its love that never fails. Love covers up a multitude of sin. Power wash your stuff. Some of this stuff has been building up for years. But there is power in my love that can clean up years of bad behavior that can clean up years of bad behavior. If you ever just accept how much God loves you, but if you just accept the love of God. Stop trying to be so controlled. I need you. I need you. Stop being so controlled. Let the Lord of the breakthrough love you and open up your eyes. Just surrender to him and God will just start taking stuff out of your life so that you will begin to walk just as a child of God, because that's who you really are. I am a child of God. That's who I really am.

I want to be who I AM SUPPOSE TO BE, WHERE I AM SUPPOSE TO BE AND WITH WHO I AM SUPPOSE TO BE WITH. LORD, HELP ME TO ACCEPT THAT I AM A CHILD OF THE TRUE AND LIVING GOD AND THAT YOU LOVE ME. YOU LOVE ME. GOD LOVES ME.

I started talking to Helen today. I plan to call tomorrow and talk some more. We will see where this leads.

I pray that God blesses you and that you are a blessing to someone, everyone that you meet. Be blessed and be a blessing.

Good Morning

 

Good Morning Lord. I am thankful and grateful that I am waking up today. Each and every day brings a new chance at life more abundantly. I cast my cares and burdens to you Lord and I submit myself to the Father. I resist the cares of the world that try to pressure me daily. God sent Jesus so that I might have light and have it more abundantly. I cast my burdens on you Lord. I have the strength to overcome cares and burdens. I cast my burdens on you Lord, you will sustain me. Thank you , thank you, thank you. I rest in you.

"He has showed you, O man, what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

Gods faithfulness. What God requires of me. How has God recently shown me His faithfulness?Let me be reminded of his faithful acts in my life.

I need a hug

Touch me again

I need a hug

I need to connect

Waiting

I am waiting for his mommy to call so I can go and pick her up. We have had a full day. Grocery shopping, blockbuster, cooking meals for two days, and then just some general cleaning,. I'm tired. I'm suppose to go out with my daughter tonight. One of the artist with my summer program is having a cd release party at this lounge and I told her I wanted to go. She was so excited to have her mommy go out with her to one of her places. I'm exhausted now. The idea of being out until 4 or 5 in the morning just makes me tired thinking about it. Have I gotten that old? I guess so. The thought of being out that late does not excite me. My biggest concern is how to get my father to let us help with his hygiene. He wont do it on his own. When my brother helps then he will do it for himself so my brother thinks he doesn't need help. When I tell he to just go do it. He goes in the bathroom and doesn't do it. He just dabs and never ever ever brushes his teeth. I would do it but I think he prefers a man. I'm going to get my brother involved again. He don't care though. He just cares about himself. I have to do something, daddy's smelling and my telling him to shower or brush his teeth is not enough. It seems simple enough but its a big problem. You dont want to hurt his feelings but its like you have to let him know that we cant continue to have him be negligent with his hygiene.

Praise the Lord. Dr Kings Memorial will be finished. This I know and believe. You are the co chair for Chicago.  let justice roll....it is always the cause and not the man.

Midnight

Well today was a waste.

I chalk it up to a day of rejuvenation. I did nothing productive. But then when I think about it, I did get others going. Anna went to take her test while I watched the baby. I fixed breakfast for lizzie and Dad while Liz continued to read this new Potter book in one day. She finished about two hours ago. Mom went to the doctors and got some antibiotics for her sinus infection after I told here she really needed to do something about it. I fixed her computer and basically just hung around the house. I didn't do anything for me today. Tomorrow have him again from noon til the evening. We're heading out tomorrow. I need to make my move. Put my bid in, get the ball rolling, make a step towards my future, whatever it may be. I think I will, I think I wont. Just what the heck is it going to be. I know I want to get some sleep. My sleep hours are so messed up. One thing that stays constant is when I ask God for direction its always positive in that direction. Never negative. That ought to tell me something good. just do it. Today has been TV overload. Saw Oprah, it was ok. Watched some old movies. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Audobon Special. Now Jimmy Kimmel. Saw some CSPAN house of Representative, should we build permanent bases in Iraq--NO! That's about all for today. Let's see what tomorrow will bring.